Looking for a guy that already seems ready for commitment

Looking for a guy that already seems ready for commitment

This is the “go with the flow” option. While this strategy may seem unfocused and silly at first, it has several good things going for it. The best thing about it is that it tends to be good for your mental health. When you don’t expect anything, you reduce the chance of getting disappointed. Good mental health is universally very attractive to most men. Another fantastic benefit of this approach is that it makes you seem less needy and desperate. Neediness and desperation can turn anyone off, so avoiding that is important. However, since the approach lacks direction and focus, I can only give it a 7/10 .

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“You need to do a better job screening!” is a common refrain you’ve probably heard from your friends. Look for some green flags that he’s ready for commitment. Unfortunately, it can be difficult to figure out if these signs are honest or if he’s just misleading you. I wrote about decoding such signs here. It’s definitely good to evaluate where you meet men, evaluate their dating profile text, see how they talk to you during the first date, and so on. If you only meet men on Tinder or in a nightclub, it might be a good idea to broaden your horizons. It’s a really good strategy, but because it leaves you vulnerable to deception from lying men, I rate this strategy a 6/10 .

Having exciting casual sex with a guy repeatedly

Some women want to delay sex until marriage. But what if you just have sex with him a lot and then hopefully he will fall in love with you and want commitment? This strategy can definitely work, but it can also fail spectacularly. You might end up having a lot of casual sex with men who are looking for casual sex and never want to commit. The upside is that many men are open to both casual sex and a long-term committed relationship depending on the girl. And if he feels like you’re an amazing girl giving him amazing sex, then he’s much more likely to want to choose you. He may want to convert your casual fling into something more. Since this approach is very risky, and also depends on how good you are in the bedroom and your overall sexual compatibility with the guy, I rate it a 5/10 .

Attempting to please the guy you’re dating so that he will like you more

I call this strategy “the pleaser”. It sometimes works because the guy can fall in love with how well you’re treating him and make him feel extremely loved. It’s definitely not a bad move if he’s also treating you well. The problem with the strategy is if it’s one-sided. This can make you seem needy and desperate, and make him wonder if he might be able to find someone better. He might also get the impression that you don’t value yourself that highly, and he might therefore begin to value you less as well. That’s why I only recommend doing this if he’s also treating you really well. Due to the many potential downsides, I rate this strategy a 4/10 .

Aiming lower and finding a guy that’s not as attractive

Also known as “settling”. This advice is typically given by men to women. “Just aim lower!” You might have heard that you have too high standards, or that you’re too superficial when selecting partners. The argument goes as follows: A less attractive man will find you more attractive compared to himself, and just see you as a better catch for something long-term. Now there is definitely some validity to this. From my personal experience, feeling like I can do “better” is definitely something that reduces the chance that I will be interested in committing to someone. But on the other hand, it’s not great for long-term success if you’re not that happy with your partner either. Maybe you will be the one to leave him in the end because you’re not fully attracted to him. Because of this, I only rate this strategy a 3/10.

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